Quotes

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

“Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.”

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

If you can’t make it better, laugh at it.

Dont walk behind me I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

It’s not that I am smart it’s just that I stay with problems longer.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. 1.19.2018

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

Accuracy is the twin brother of honesty; inaccuracy, of dishonesty.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream.

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

You are more likely to reach your goal if you have another, bigger, brighter goal just beyond it

Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

The only reason a customer ever says no is because the have not heard or felt that which is needed to encode an emotion that motivates them to buy.

The best revenge is massive success.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement. - Will Rogers

Never let yesterday take up too much of today. - Will Rogers

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

A loving heart is the truest wisdom.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."

Your attitude, not your aptitude will determine your altitude.

A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you have to start young.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. - Mark Twain

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.

Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down

If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Without a struggle, there can be no progress.

You cannot open a book without learning something.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

The chief cause of unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Lost time is never found again.

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best.

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

I dont know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There is no success without hardship.

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

Courage is the mastery of fear, not the absence of fear.

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the down.

If you dont like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A 'you can do it' when things are tough.

The greatest of all mistakes is to do nothing because you think you can only do a little.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

Nothing will work unless you do.

You cant blame gravity for falling in love.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

Dignify and glorify common labor. It is at the bottom of life that we must begin, not at the top.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time; Vision with action can change the world.

What is success I think it is a mixture of having flair for the thing that you are doing; knowing that it is not enough, that you have got to have hard work and a certain sense of purpose.

You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.

The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. - Yogi Berra

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

A friend is a present you give yourself.

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.

Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Where there is love there is life.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Tom Brady can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Tom Brady even further.

Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Flowers are the laughter of spring

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.

If you want to be happy, be.

My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes. 2018.08.10

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

You will always miss 100% of the shots you do not take.

Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. - Albert Einstein

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. Sales pros

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

The speed of the leader is the speed of the gang. - Mary Kay Ash

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure.

Leadership cannot really be taught. It can only be learned.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"

One person can make a difference and every person should try.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.

Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Dont accept your dogs admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.”

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

Logic will get you to A-Z. Imagination will get you everywhere.

All men are equal before fish.

We cannot become what we need by remaining what we are.

Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.

How wonderful that nobody needs to wait to make the world a better place.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.

Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.

Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority. - Vince Lombardi

Everyone is a genius, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.

A well-spent day brings happy sleep.

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

A leader is someone who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change

The roughest roads often lead to the top.

Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.

It is necessary for us to learn from others’ mistakes. You will not live long enough to make them all yourself.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

If you do the things you need to do when you need to do them, then someday you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them.

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done.

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Chuck Norris says.

If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. - C.S. Lewis

I know I am in love with you because my reality is finally better than my dreams.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. frostbite gets chuck norris ...Chuck Norris bites frost.

If you learn from defeat, then you haven't really lost.

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strengh, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. - Vince Lombardi

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.

You are never too old to be what you might have been.

I love you

Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement.

If people like you, they'll listen to you, but if they trust you, they'll do business with you.

When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. O5.06.2016 sales pros

You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Remember that failure is an event, not a person.

Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

It always seems impossible until its done.

Anywhere is walking distance, if you have the time.

I can resist everything except temptation.

High expectations are the key to everything.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

If you havent got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts. - Winston Churchill

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.

We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.

In the end its not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen, not touched, but are felt in the heart. - Helen Keller

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to swallow when eating food.

I know not what others may choose but, as for me, give me liberty or give me death.

Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.

It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. - Vince Lombardi

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The most important thing is to not to stop questioning.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. - Maria Robinson

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.

My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.

Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.

The cautious seldom err.

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty,to find the best in others, to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition, to know even one life as breathed easier because you have lived… This is the meaning of success

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.

A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum. Sales pros

Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.

By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order.

Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.

Knowledge without application is worthless.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

The degree to which you understand your purpose...will determine the degree of your achievements. Ask yourself often "What is the purpose of this action?"

You were born to WIN, but to be a winner, you must PLAN to win, PREPARE to win, and EXPECT to win.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.

To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. - Vince Lombardi

A successful man is one that can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. - David Brinkley

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Go as far as you can see and when you get there, you will always be able to see farther.

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.

Success is how high you bounce once you hit bottom.

Dont ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive. And go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

If we are growing we are always going to be outside our comfort zone.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.

It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.

If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

True happiness is... to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.

I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little "extra".

If you're going through hell, keep going.

The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moved.

Poverty must not be a bar to learning and learning must offer an escape from poverty.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

No matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important. - Mary Kay Ash

Listen to many, speak to a few.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December.

Life is not a plate to be emptied--- it is a bowl to be filled!

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.

The starting point of all achievement is desire.

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.

Vision without execution is just hallucination.

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.

Never spend your money before you have earned it.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

A friend in need is a pest.

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

There is no respect for others without humility in one's self.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

The ring of fire still burns around you and I, keeping our love hotter than a pepper sprout.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

Every day brings new choices.

Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.

Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish.

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.

The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. -Vince Lombardi

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

All brave men love; for he only is brave who has affections to fight for, whether in the daily battle of life, or in physical contests.

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

If you see someone without a smile, give him one of yours.

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.

That man is a success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much.

MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.

I want to congratulate all the men out there who are working diligently to be good fathers whether they are stepfathers, or biological fathers or just spiritual fathers.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

Don't find fault, find a remedy.

Love brings up emotions that run the gamut from agony to ecstasy. Love can inspire us to accomplish some of the craziest and most amazing feats.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.

Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

You don't drown by falling in water, you only drown if you stay there.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Correction does much, but encouragement does more.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends.

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.

The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common sense.

Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

The obstacle is the path

Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse.

Courage is grace under pressure.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

A ship is always safe at a shore – but that is NOT what it is built for.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

One of the greatest pleasures is doing something that someone thinks you cannot do.

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great!

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C.S. Lewis

Silence is a true friend who never betrays.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.

There are three classes of people: those who see, those who see when they are shown, those who do not see.

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers

Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

DESTINY Born too late to explore the world, born too early to explore the stars, born right on time to explore unemployment thanks to A.I.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.

Chuck Norris runs Windows 10 on his Etch-a-Sketch.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. - C.S. Lewis

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

We gain strength and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face...we must do that which we think we cannot.

Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man. Sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.

Tell me and I forget Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

The future comes one day at a time

When you reach the top, keep climbing.

If you can dream it, you can acheive it.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'

Nothing is impossible the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.

Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

A leader who produces other leaders multiples their influences.

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

The path to success is to take massive, determined action.

The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Underpromise and overdeliver.

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see.

I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it

Chuck Norris invented water.

Never mistake motion for action.

When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.

Its never too late to live happily ever after.

Change can be so beautiful... so scary... but oh so necessary... It's time for a change in your life! Embrace the possibility and beauty of this new season.

All great achievements require time.

All businesses rise thrive, and survive on repeat orders and referrals.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.

Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave, take the hill. But first answer the question.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Well done is better than well said.

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. - C.S. Lewis

A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.

All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris

Too many people spend money they don't have to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. - Will Rogers

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.

Believe you can and you're halfway there.